Advice for the "Ghosted"...
Recently a friend wrote me to say that he was heartbroken after having been –
‘Ghosted’ : broken up with suddenly by means of abandonment in all forms of communication.
– by a girl he was dating for a short while who he had developed strong feelings towards. He asked for some spiritually motivated guidance as to allow him to see the situation in a light that might lead him toward healing. Here’s what I wrote him back in its entirety:
The important thing at this time is to reconcile with your significance and also your insignificance. You are an integral part of the Universe, it could not exist without you yet you are so small. Think of it in these terms: there are more stars in the sky than there are grains of sand on all of Earth’s beaches combined, yet there are more atoms in a grain of sand then there are stars in the sky.
It is also important to realize that Love is not a possession. Most of us are taught to believe that when we find Love we need to protect it, but Love does not need our protection or our accumulation. You feel Love when you are in the flow of giving it, but only then do you truly touch it and know it.
Love exists everywhere.
It is the root of our Being, the most powerful (and at the same time trivialized by our culture) force in the Universe. When people come and go in our lives, we need to first honor the pain, mourn and not try to fix it. We need time to grieve, but the trick is doing the grieving mindfully, watching that it doesn’t become bitterness or victimization.
I’ve found that there are only three answers the Universe has for us at all times:
2. Not now
3. I have something better for you
Did you notice that none of the three answers are ‘No’?
How many times in the past have you thought you knew what was best for you, something you couldn’t have at the time or was out of reach, only to find out later that it was something that would’ve been terrible for you or at the very least, destructive. We must build trust that our Universe is doing for us what we would not do for ourselves. After all, it has been taking care of us all along, with plants and trees to share breathing patterns with that sustain our life, with a Sun and Earth and Water that work together to grow food that is not poisonous, and keeps us healthy and enriches our mind.
There are unseen intangible laws of our Universe, always at play, always working for us, not against us.
Let this Universe love you and show you what you need, outside of your cycling thoughts which are selling you one story- lack. This situation you are in may feel like a dead end, but in life, there are no dead ends. This moment is the fruit of past actions, but it is also the seed of what’s to come. Cause and effect, or karma. We can grow creative seeds or destructive seeds, it is our choice, but the garden will grow what we decide to plant, and will do so indiscriminately.
If you want a look into the future, look no further than what you are doing now, thinking now, being now, and you will get an accurate sampling of what’s to come. The good news is, even using your wildest imagination (which you should currently implore while designing your life) you will only see a fractal of the beauty you can create and that will be coming your way. This has been my experience, and the experience of many people similarly motivated and educated in these methods. Thoughts create things, thoughts become things, everything we see made by man that has become manifest was once a thought, including lifestyles and quality of life others are enjoying that appeals to you.
If we take care of ourselves, this can be a long life, with many adventures ahead, no dead ends and no shortage of what I believe is anonymously holding each and every one of us together- Love. It is my personal belief that what we perceive as rejection is actually some form of unseeable protection, and what is truly FOR YOU will never pass you by.